


The Promise

by Reirachan



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-03
Updated: 2014-01-03
Packaged: 2018-01-07 07:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1117237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reirachan/pseuds/Reirachan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I will made your days amazing. I will make you feel alive... Even when you're not"</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Promise

“Oh my god, Ryouta, stop,” Kasamatsu laughed, playfully trying to slap him to make him do just that. Of course, Kise took that as a “please continue” and proceeded with his lame excuse of a poem. Kise was completely _horrible_ with words and those were probably the worst rhymes Kasamatsu had ever heard. And to top that, Ryouta really exceeded himself at his theatrical skills, shouting and holding his fist against his chest like he was saying the deepest line Shakespeare had ever written, when in fact it sounded like a four-years-old English schoolwork. 

It was so embarrassing, but all Yukio did was to laugh, used to Ryouta’s eccentricities. That was probably a mistake. Yukio’s beautiful laughter was all the push Ryouta needed to put into more drama into his actions, shutting his eyes closed and practically yelling the lines. It was so ridiculous, and Yukio nearly lost his shit, the sound filling the whole room as he hid his face in his hands, wiping tears of joy that came out of his eyes. Kise stopped his acting to stare, proud of himself for making Kasamatsu laugh like that.

He had difficulties trying to catch his breath, but once he did, he found himself copying Kise’s loving expression, staring at him back. He reached out to Kise’s cheek, caressing it with his hand. “Ryouta…” he mumbled, suddenly feeling all strength leave him. He felt his eyes closing, giving up to how tired he felt. He was peaceful, happy, and everything seemed at its right place. He felt like something was comfortably lifting him up to the sky, erasing all his worries. Actually, erasing him as a whole. He could feel his body going numb. 

That was Kise. He was the only one who could ever make him like this, forgetting all the pain he was in, how weak he felt.

“Senpai…” Ryouta answered, and then his eyes widened as Yukio’s hand fell on the bed without warning, “Senpai!” he got up in a heartbeat, shock, pain and worry racing inside his honey eyes.

Yes. Only Ryouta had this power over him. Only him could make Yukio laugh honestly and loudly like anything else did matter in the world. Only him could make Yukio forget how weak he was. That he was stuck in a hospital bed. That the strength to live was leaving him each passing day, as his body was took over by cancer.

Only Ryouta could send him to death without a single feeling of regret or loneliness.

“Thank you,” he mumbled, but maybe “mouthed” would be a better term. Almost no sound came out of his mouth. And even if it did, Ryouta was too busy pressing the button to call the nurse, screaming for _someone_ to come and help them, and trying not to give up as the machines went crazy, beeping the alarm that said that Kasamatsu’s heart no longer worked.

No.

 _You can’t just go like this_.

No.

_You looked so happy back then, so full of life_

No.

 _Don’t even try and tell me this was the last bit of life you had_.

No.

_Don’t leave me here!_

_Someone!_

The doctors were already there, and they tried to resuscitate Yukio, but deep inside Ryouta knew that they couldn’t do anything anymore. It wasn’t like he didn’t know – it was cancer, and they just found out when it was too late to do anything. That’s why he had promised he’d make Kasamatsu’s last days amazing. That he would make him laugh honestly and enjoy the life that he still had. No tears, no regrets. He would have the most amazing last days one could hope for. 

He couldn’t keep Yukio alive, so he was going to make him feel alive.

That was his promise, when they found out.

But knowing that Kasamatsu would die didn’t keep him from hating it. Knowing that Kasamatsu would die just made him angrier, when the doctor came out of the room, and he didn’t have to say anything, because he wasn’t looking straight into Ryouta’s eyes.

Some people would probably get mad at the doctor. Put the blame on him, saying that he didn’t do all he could, that he should be keeping Kasamatsu alive. Ryouta wished he could bring himself to do it, too. But he knew that the doctor had done all he could to save Kasamatsu. Why wouldn’t he? After all, why _wouldn’t_ anyone want to save him?

_Why would anyone want him to die?_

He didn’t hear the doctor’s “I’m sorry,” and he didn’t have to. He had heard Kasamatsu’s last words. He knew there was no way he was coming back. So realization just sunk in, dragged him along and gave him multiple punches.

He screamed. The whole hospital heard, and then he screamed again. And again, and once more. The walls echoed and perpetuated the sound, like the world agreed with his pain. His throat hurt, and he was still screaming, grabbing his own hair like he was trying to pull it out. He fell on his knees and curled himself like a ball, still screaming. He was a pile of pain and regret. His nails dug in his scalp, and if anything, the pain he felt then was better than the pain of reality. Kasamatsu was dead. And he knew that was coming. He knew that whenever he tried to kick or slap him, and Kise didn’t feel any pain. He knew that whenever Kasamatsu moved and then almost passed out, feeling dizzy and having to grab the bed to stay at his place. He knew it whenever he looked at how pale his skin was, how his eyes were digging in his face, and how his smile faded away.

“Senpai…”

 _I should’ve been the one, not you_.

“Senpai…”

 _I wish I could’ve been the one_.

“Senpai…”

 _Why did you leave me?_.

“I love you…”

His voice cracked, his knees were shaking, and he could no longer form any words because he was suffocating in the tears that couldn’t come out fast enough and ended up stuck in his throat, keeping him from breathing. He opened his mouth to grasp some air, but instead he just released more in another pained scream, trying to let go with it all he had felt the past few months, all he’d gone through while trying not to break down, because senpai needed him, his help and his smile.

All the feelings he had been suppressing came out in that scream. And in the one that followed. He screamed again. In other circumstances, probably the nurse would’ve tried to calm him down or comfort him, but he was so absolutely miserable that no one had the courage to touch him, or to even try to make him feel better because that would be dirty, like they were intruding his feelings. His pain was so real and honest, it wasn’t even fair to make him hide it any longer.

Each sob he let out was like a kick in his back, bending him over and destroying his defenses.

_It hurts, senpai, and I love you…_

His knuckles were white and his hands were going numb from all the strength he was putting in his fists. Later on, he’d find out there was blood in his nails. And he wouldn’t care.

_Oh my god, I love you…_

_Yukio…_


End file.
